"News Straight from the InterNest"

Eyrie On-Line

December 7th, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Horriblescopes

By Najimo Yusuf

 

Aquarius  JAN 21  FEB 19- Be very careful today: Make sure to read the signs that you pass by. There is a great chance you miss a “caution wet floor” sign and slip and fall.

 PISCES FEB 20 MAR 19- Don’t eat too much today; that certain someone you had a huge crush on will decide to talk to you; and you might throw up from nerves.

 ARIES MAR 20 APR 18- Make sure to loosen your pants, and be careful not to bend down too fast. Your pants will rip and you will pass out from embarrassment.

 TAURUS  APR 19 MAY 19- You should have pulled an all-nighter last night; that test you have next hour will be really hard. And make sure to have a spare box of tissues with you; your score won’t be so great either.

 GEMINI MAY 20 JUN 20- Today is an unlucky day for you if you’re not wearing the color pink. Get ready for a day full of disappointments, and definitely make sure to tie your shoes; otherwise you will fall flat on your face.

 CANCER JUN 21 JUL 21- Make sure to chew a piece of gum today. You will be in awkward situation where you have to be facing face to face with someone. Also have your gag reflex off, because the other person’s breath won’t be so fresh.

LEO JUL 22 AUG 22- Prepare to see your dean today; you will get into trouble for something you did not do. Also control your anger, because you might punch your dean out of frustration.

VIRGO AUG 23 SEP 21- Hopefully you’re wearing some strong deodorant today, because your science teacher will tell your class to run the mile. Supposedly it’s for a science experiment, but it’s really because she hates you all. 

LIBRA SEP 21 OCT 22- Drive carefully today; there will be a family of geese crossing the road, and you might accidentally hit one. Don’t worry too much about your car though; worry about yourself and all the angry geese that want revenge.

SCORPIO OCT 23 NOV 21- Unfortunately, you will have the worst day of your life today. Unless you actually do your math homework; and I don’t mean just the odd numbered ones. I mean all of them.

SAGITTARIUSNOV 22 DEC 20- Today you will go on facebook and have 69 notifications, but don’t get too excited they are all comments from a video that your friend decided to tag 100 people on.

CAPRICORN DEC 21 JAN 20- Before you go out tonight check your wallet for some money, because you will forget it at home, and your date won’t be so happy with you.

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